This Thursday you might be going to your daughters’, mothers’, grandmothers’ or other relatives’ homes to celebrate and remember we still have a country. You may luck out and have conservatives for the aforementioned kin, or you may be like me, and not be so lucky as to have conservative close relatives In such case, you may wish to duck (no pun intended) as you walk through the door and hear the previously named relatives shout, “The old turkey has arrived.” You have to guard against any chance the dinner guests do not end up saying “Thanks,” over your carcass … foul or fowl.
To assist in warding off their slings and arrows and general bull butter slung or bounced your way, access the following.
Lastly, do not let them stuff you with anything except turkey, ham and all the trimmings and traditional deserts. And show them your proud Republican buttocks leaving in haste, should things get too rough: